Weeping Willow

Ryan was shaking, and he couldn’t stop. He stood awkwardly behind Shane and Spencer while a doctor talked to Brendon’s parents about his condition. Ryan strained his ears to listen.

He found out that the accident had caused severed damage to Brendon. There were not only injuries to his head and a broken nose, but he had a few broken ribs, which had punctured his lungs and caused internal bleeding. The side of the car that had crushed him had broken his arm, pelvis, and his entire leg. The surgery had gone well, his bones had been set, and his pelvis had been stabilized; everything that could be done had been done. He still was not in good shape, and the doctors couldn’t even say if he was definitely going to make it.

It was a terrifying thought; the possibility that Brendon might die. It seemed impossible, but at the same time precariously close at hand.

They were reluctantly let into Brendon’s private room, and Ryan held his breath in his chest, following the rest in. His jaw tightened at the sight. Brendon’s face was black and blue and bandaged. His left leg was in a traction, and this horrible metal contraption had screws digging into Brendon’s skin, sticking out around his hip.

“What…what is that?” Spencer asked, pointing at it.

A nurse who was checking Brendon’s vitals looked over at the group, and gave them a small, comforting smile. “It’s called an external fixator. His pelvis was broken but we can’t use a cast to realign the bones. This will do just want we need it to do, even though it looks unpleasant.” She  adjusted the thin hospital sheets, then looked at Ryan who was desperately cleaning to his IV drip. He hadn’t waited for a nurse to come and take it out of his hand for him. “You might as well take a seat. He will probably be out of it for awhile… You might want to return to your room,” she directed towards him.

Ryan shook his head. “I’m fine, I promise… I want to stay here, with him…”

She nodded and offered to take the drip out. The bag was empty, there was no point in him toting it around. She placed a bandage over the hole the needle left, and Spencer offered to return to Ryan’s room to retrieve his clothes.

It was going to be a long night.

Hours passed, and Brendon’s father left to get some sleep so he could get up to work in the morning. Spencer frequently left the room to make phone calls regarding Jon. Jon was on a flight from Chicago to Vegas with Pete. Both had booked the flight as soon as they had heard what happened, but it would be morning by the time they finally arrived.

Brendon’s mother was constantly talking about Brendon. Things he liked, his friends, his past, his dog. She did everything to try and get Shane and Ryan to converse with her, but Ryan… he just didn’t have the heart to. All he could do was sit and stare ate Brendon who lay unconscious in the bed. He hated it. He couldn’t stand to see someone who had once been so full of life look so pathetic and lifeless.

Ryan finally grew tired of freezing in the flimsy hospital gown, and slipped into the private room’s bathroom to change into his own clothes. When he came back out, Shane put a fingure to his lips and gestured to Brendon’s mother who had fallen asleep in her chair. Ryan nodded and went to take his seat when he noticed Shane standing, and gesturing for Ryan to follow him. When they were alone in the hallway, only then did Shane speak.

“Are you going to tell anyone else?” he asked softly.

Ryan pursed his lips; he didn’t need to ask what Shane meant, he knew. Ryan was surprised that it wasn’t hard for him to find the answer. He thought he would have been torn and confused,  and still so scared… But he wasn’t.

“Yeah… Just, I feel like Brendon should be there, and awake when I do, or we do… We should do it together,” Ryan answered. It felt so simple now. Once he told Shane, it was all out of the bag. He made the first jump, and it wasn’t so scary. “Well… That is if… if…” Ryan closed his eyes and shook his head. “If Brendon will take me back, that is.”

“What?” Shane exclaimed in a hushed whispered. “Take you back?”

Ryan grimaced. “You didn’t get the whole story… Before the accident, Brendon and I had a fight because I was too scared to tell anyone about us… He broke up with me because of it… I don’t know if he’ll want me back now…”

“Of course he will… I mean, if what you say is true, which I believe you of course, then he loves you. He’ll take you back.”

“I don’t know,” Ryan sighed. “I mean, if… If I hadn’t been so stubborn and scared, this would have never happened… He wouldn’t be here, he wouldn’t be in that state… It’s my fault, he could hate me now…”

Ryan looked up when he felt Shane’s hand on his shoulder. “Ryan. You know Brendon better than me, but I know him pretty damn well, and we both know Brendon’s not that kind of guy… You two will be just fine.” Shane followed his statement of comfort with a small attempt at a smile. Which vanished when a nurse and a doctor went into Brendon’s room. A worried look was exchanged between the two boys, and they promptly followed.

“What’s going on?” Brendon’s mother groggily asked, rubbing sleep from her eyes and sitting up in her chair next to her son’s chair.

“We’re just concerned,” the doctor started, almost reluctantly. “It’s been enough time after the surgery that the anesthetics should have started to wear off. He should be showing some signs of consciousness, even if he hasn’t fully come to. He hasn’t shown any signs yet.”

”What does that mean?” questioned Brendon’s mother. “Is something wrong? Is he ok?”

”We’re going to run a few tests. If you like, you can stay in here, it will only take a few moments,” he offered gently before he and the nurse went to work, explaining what they were doing.

It seemed simple. They knew Brendon suffered a traumatic brain injury, but from the MRI, no serious damage seemed to have occurred. All they had left was to see how severe a reaction his system had.

“I’m just going to put pressure on the trapezium here,” the doctor explained, showing them the bone in the wrist. “We can’t score his facial reactions because of the swelling, but we’ll be looking for any sort of verbal of motor response… We’re hoping he’s just deeply asleep.”

The doctor applied pressure and everyone held their breaths. Ryan felt his hand go out to hold onto anything, and it founded Shane’s hand, squeezing it tightly.

Brendon didn’t move, nor make a sound, and they had the same results the other three times the doctor attempted the test.

He looked grim, and he turned the group. “Right now, Brendon’s comatose. We’ll just have to wait.”

“Wait, wait…” Ryan said, his voice breathy and nervous. “He’s….in a coma? What does that fucking mean?”

“It means he’s in a state of deep and prolonged unconsciousness,” the doctor defined clearly. Ryan only frowned, his face taking on a slight shade of pink.

“I’m not stupid, I know what a coma is. I want to know when he’ll wake up! Is he ok?” Ryan could feel his heart beat increasing, his breaths were shallow and rapid, and Shane’s touch did nothing to calm him.

“It’s undetermined at this time,” the doctor said, keeping his tone as calming and gentle as he could. “It could be a matter of days, or weeks, or in some cases, even years. You just need to wait it out.”

”He’ll be alright, wont he?” Brendon’s mom asked, and the doctor gave her a small smile. “We’ve done all we can for him. His heart rate is good, he came out through the surgery just fine, he’s not in any immediate danger. He should be just fine.”

Ryan only blinked, his hand going to his chest. It was like the whole roomed narrowed, and the outside of his vision grew narrow and fuzzy. He heard nothing after the doctor said Brendon could be in a coma for years.  His heart was beating painfully face, and he didn’t feel like he was getting any air. He could vaguely hear Shane asking if he was alright, but it sounded like cotton was in his ears, or that he was underwater…

Then it all went black.